Tag Archives: relationship

Blessed is…

… having a great parents with their unconditional love.

pxlr love parents

When you are in your 40’s and still having your healthy loving parents around, you are blessed. When you realize how independent your parents are in their old age, you are blessed. When you remember your parents never take you for granted, you are blessed. When you know that your parents will always support you, you are blessed.

I know I am. Although my parents are living thousand miles away, I could feel their never ending love in every breath I take. Recalling my journeys in life, I am blessed because my parents always support me in every step I made. They still do until this moment. They always trust me, they always believe in me. And the best most of all, they never stop pray for my well-lived life.

I understood well, it’s not always easy to deal with our parents. In this course of life, there was or will be a slight misunderstanding or even big friction between us and our parents. That generation gap between us could be  seen as a culprit. But hey… consider that as one of the fun facts about family life. There are no perfect parents. The choice is boiled down to either great or bad. However, have we asked ourselves: Am I a great or bad child for my parents? Parents do the best they thought. When they had us, there was no manual attached. At the end of the day, communication plays the most important role in parents-children relationship.

There is a gentle reminder is worth to ponder: Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we are often forget they are also growing old.

So…

Love them. Thank them. Call them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Visit them. Hug them. Make time for them. Give them reason to smile, everyday. Show all your love and care for them before the end of time. While they are still around.

I saw many scenes in people’s life how they treat their elders. Some are so hurtful, some  are so uplifting. As I grow older, I understand more and more about the meaning of this version that I had been taught when I was 9 years old.

Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’.

Quran 17:23-24 

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Just Us!

I confess. I enjoy observing people.

For instance, I find it interesting to be able to capture how the lovebirds enjoy their moments together. It seems, for them, the world is theirs, only belong to them. The other people, ah…. they are just passing by.

Less that they know, watching this kind of view, somehow always brings smile and happiness to myself. It gives me an uplifting feeling. Simply nice to know here  is the time when you see and feel love is in the air. I hope they will always find their time together in their busy life. By just doing a simple things together, like these moments I managed to capture.

couple @ kits copy

A couple at the Kitsilano Beach, Vancouver.

marked osaka_2 couples picnic IMG_2488

Two couples in between tall buildings in Osaka, Japan

S sarawak_kuching couple on boat IMG_3464

A couple cruising the Sarawak River, Malaysia.

Would you agree with me that seeing how two people in love also could spread peacefulness around us?

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Yes, it is hurt!

I don’t know why on that particular day I did not turn off my cell-phone as usual before I went to sleep. As a result, that early morning, its rings woke me up from my already lack of sleep due to working overtime.

“Hello?” (I barely opened my eyes)
You… b*&$h… stay away from my husband!!!” (a lady yelling on the other side)
“Pardon me.. haaah… whaaat?” (I jumped off from my bed and tried hard to gather my soul)
“You heard me! Stay away from husband! (she mumbling) … I will kill him, myself and my baby girl!” (she toned down her voice)

Oh my… I tell you, with that kind of morning call, I bet you agree with me that our adrenaline will rise up to the highest bar easily. That morning, for the first time ever in my life, someone called me with such bad name. That morning was the day how I found I had been cheated by a man that I thought as a very nice gentleman, of course single, who loved me. That morning, I wanted bad to scream and slap that guy very hard. I felt so foolish, so blind, so stupid. I made a big mistake in my life, what a shameful.

Fast forward after that wake-up call. On my way to office, between the crazy traffic jams, I dialled that guy’s number. I was pretty sure he was already at his office.

“Good morning, Sweet… how are….”(he sounds happy)
“Don’t sweet me! Please tell  your wife,  I got no interest at all at you. Thank you for not telling me that you’re married, that also with a baby girl! Such a big liar! How could you do this to all of us?”
(I turned off my cellphone)

For the rest of the day, I got so many unwanted calls. From him. From her. All ignored. I tried so hard to concentrate with my meetings. Yet I felt something bleeding inside of me. Then, I realized I’d better get this done once for all. I took her call. I told her, I am truly sorry that this so called love affair happened. I did not know at all that he is married and just had a baby. I ensured her that her husband is all hers. I told her, I got better things to do and she doesn’t have to waste her time on me. In a way I hope she got my message, “I’m sorry. There, you can have your husband back and stop calling me!”.

That day, I buried my all feelings for him. I felt like I got slapped and stabbed badly. Yes, it is hurt. Honestly, it hurt me so much. He succeeded making me falling in love with him. He fooled me. What a smooth operator, he was. What hurt me more was the fact when I knew I had hurt another woman. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t know his real status. We, two women, got fooled at the same time. When I finally took his call later on that day,  I asked him: “Why you didn’t tell me the truth? What’s the point you brought me to seventh heaven for later I have to experience such a call from your wife?”. Of course, I didn’t let him explain his acts. What for?

To conclude my day, I wrote on my diary:
I have fell in love with a wrong person. Oh what a joy of single life!
Quietly, I thanked him later on. Because of him, I had another bitter experience in my life that I believe will make me stronger after a while. I always thought that kind of experience would never happened to me. Now I know better: although you are already so on guard and extra careful with yourself, you are still prone to such bitterness.

Because not every one will tell you the truth from the beginning!

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Pay It Forward

Few weeks ago, following a friend’s challenge that she wrote on her facebook’s status, I decided to post this on mine:

CREATIVE PAY IT FORWARD

The first 5 people to comment on this status will receive from me a gift sometime in the next calendar year – perhaps a book, or baked goods, bag, music, a picture, jewelry, or some special creative thing I make ~ a surprise! You never know what or when. There will be no warning and it will happen whenever the mood strikes me. The catch? Those five people must make the same offer in their FB status and follow through. Who’s in?

pay it forward

Unlike most of the people that I know, I consider myself as the one who rarely updating my status in the social media. Once in the blue moon, I do post something there when I think it is worth to be shared to the whole world of mine. Just like the posting above. I think it’s a good cause.

So I waited eagerly for people’s responses. Interestingly, after waited for quite some time, some friends only gave me their thumbs up sign. I read that as “Good thought!”. Some other friends  did take their time to comment something which definitely made me shake my head. All they did just saying like “Oh pick me, go ahead just send me the gift!”.  Oh my dear friends, I firmly believed you did not read the rules.

Above all, I got one friend who was willing to do the same thing. Her response was quite quick actually, about a minute after my posting. She wrote, “Count me in!” and when I checked her latest status, she did post the same status as mine. She followed the rules of the game. So she is definitely will get something from me in a near future.

For those who were not taking my challenge seriously, maybe they think this is just a gimmick. Maybe they consider this is just a silly updated status. Or stupid useless game. Ah well, I’d better not to judge any further. All I know, I like this idea. It’s a nice offer,  a nice surprise that will make someone’s day when he or she finally receive his or her share. It will make me feel happy  when I could make someone smile. It is also a lesson for me on how to keep my own promise. It’s a way to do a good deed.

Anyhow, this pay it forward action and its responses has brought me a question:  is it hard to do? 

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I Wish You Enough!

Needless to say more, hope this reading below enlighten us.

“I wish you enough!”

© by Bob Perks

I never really thought that I’d spend as much time in airports as I do. I don’t know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I’m not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.

I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to “hello” and “goodbye.”I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.

I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.

Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.

On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, “How are you today?” I replied, “I am missing my wife already and I haven’t even said goodbye.”

She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, “How long will you…Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!” We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.

But I learn from goodbye moments, too.

Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you enough.” She in turn said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”

They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”

“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.

So I knew what this man experiencing.

“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral,” he said.

“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.”When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory.

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”

He then began to sob and walked away.

My friends, I wish you enough!

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Happiness is…

… when you hold my hand and I can feel the chills that hit every part of my spine.

“If a husband looked at her with affection & his wife looked with compassion, God looked at them with a look of affection. When her husband held the palm of the hand of his wife, the sins both of them falling from the finger grip of both hands.”

(HR: Rafi’i)

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Not Just Another Love Story!

February. The month of love, they said.

When you passed your 30’s, probably you would think everyday should become the day of love. At least, that’s how my husband and I think. So we don’t celebrate so called Valentine’s Day in February. Beside being a person who think Valentine’s Day celebration is overrated, February 14 always reminds me of the moment I said my last goodbye to my beloved grandmother. Instead of a happy day, February 14 will always be a reminder of the date when I lost someone that had been so close to me. If you ask me what Valentine’s Day means to me, that is my answer.

Anyway, in February the mass-media usually will come up with many related love stories. As human, apparently we all need to be reminded about how love story can start the sparks in the sweet corner of your heart. We never get tired in reading these stories. Whether some are hopelessly romantic or even skeptical when it comes to true love, one thing for sure, love stories sell.

Reading about true love that really exist is one of my favourite subjects. After got bombarded with tons of divorce reports on people (that we know personally or not) out there, reading a true love story always give me soothing feeling and look forward on how to strengthen my relationship with the wonderful person I’m living with.

So in February 8th, I read about a love story between a man and a woman. I could say it was not just another love story. The guy used to be so active person, in fact he was a celebrity in Indonesia. I kinda knew him as he is one of the famous seniors in our university. One day, he got sick. They found out that he got Multiple Sclerosis. Unlike in North America, this is a very rare sickness for Indonesians. The story on how he deals with his unfortunate condition and how his wife supports him all this time have become an eye opener for us. A strong reminder about a promise that we all made in front of The Almighty: to be with your spouse in health and sickness, in happy and sad moments. No matter what.

Please go to these links, I promise you will have an uplifted spirit afterwards:

Learn how to dance in the rain

You’re lucky you married a woman who can lift you

 

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