Tag Archives: honesty

Yes, it is hurt!

I don’t know why on that particular day I did not turn off my cell-phone as usual before I went to sleep. As a result, that early morning, its rings woke me up from my already lack of sleep due to working overtime.

“Hello?” (I barely opened my eyes)
You… b*&$h… stay away from my husband!!!” (a lady yelling on the other side)
“Pardon me.. haaah… whaaat?” (I jumped off from my bed and tried hard to gather my soul)
“You heard me! Stay away from husband! (she mumbling) … I will kill him, myself and my baby girl!” (she toned down her voice)

Oh my… I tell you, with that kind of morning call, I bet you agree with me that our adrenaline will rise up to the highest bar easily. That morning, for the first time ever in my life, someone called me with such bad name. That morning was the day how I found I had been cheated by a man that I thought as a very nice gentleman, of course single, who loved me. That morning, I wanted bad to scream and slap that guy very hard. I felt so foolish, so blind, so stupid. I made a big mistake in my life, what a shameful.

Fast forward after that wake-up call. On my way to office, between the crazy traffic jams, I dialled that guy’s number. I was pretty sure he was already at his office.

“Good morning, Sweet… how are….”(he sounds happy)
“Don’t sweet me! Please tell  your wife,  I got no interest at all at you. Thank you for not telling me that you’re married, that also with a baby girl! Such a big liar! How could you do this to all of us?”
(I turned off my cellphone)

For the rest of the day, I got so many unwanted calls. From him. From her. All ignored. I tried so hard to concentrate with my meetings. Yet I felt something bleeding inside of me. Then, I realized I’d better get this done once for all. I took her call. I told her, I am truly sorry that this so called love affair happened. I did not know at all that he is married and just had a baby. I ensured her that her husband is all hers. I told her, I got better things to do and she doesn’t have to waste her time on me. In a way I hope she got my message, “I’m sorry. There, you can have your husband back and stop calling me!”.

That day, I buried my all feelings for him. I felt like I got slapped and stabbed badly. Yes, it is hurt. Honestly, it hurt me so much. He succeeded making me falling in love with him. He fooled me. What a smooth operator, he was. What hurt me more was the fact when I knew I had hurt another woman. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t know his real status. We, two women, got fooled at the same time. When I finally took his call later on that day,  I asked him: “Why you didn’t tell me the truth? What’s the point you brought me to seventh heaven for later I have to experience such a call from your wife?”. Of course, I didn’t let him explain his acts. What for?

To conclude my day, I wrote on my diary:
I have fell in love with a wrong person. Oh what a joy of single life!
Quietly, I thanked him later on. Because of him, I had another bitter experience in my life that I believe will make me stronger after a while. I always thought that kind of experience would never happened to me. Now I know better: although you are already so on guard and extra careful with yourself, you are still prone to such bitterness.

Because not every one will tell you the truth from the beginning!


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Mind the Gap

From February to November 2012, there was a gap here. A very long gap. For you who like to drop by here from time to time, I’m sorry for the empty space you found during those nine months. Well, actually I feel bad for not doing my posts at all for this blog and my Words In A Frame.

Please mind the gap.

I confess. Those blogs were not being neglected. I did have some ideas to post something between the long gap actually. Unfortunately, they did not come to fruitful. They had become just ideas, floating around on my head or sometimes just ended up as scribbles on my notepad. Despite that, here is the good news: I still experienced many blissful journeys during my absent here.

It was easy to say an excuse like “Oh my, I was too occupied with works!”. However, honesty is the best policy. When I look back, on February to March I did feel too occupied with works, to be precise: I was juggling between my three works. Lesson learnt, for me: just stick with one job if you can. Secondly, I really saluted those who could juggling between many jobs.

My other excuse for the gap here was: on the last two weeks of March, besides preparing my long journey away from home, I had to organize things related to our business so my mother in law could take over while I’m gone. Added to this, I had to do my very early spring cleaning and cooked some foods for Mr. Husband. I wanted to make sure that before my long leave, the house would look neat and Mr. Husband would still have choices of food for a month (at least). Being an always wonderful person, Mr. Husband actually said I don’t have to do my spring cleaning and cooking. I know he will keep the house clean. Also he promised he won’t go skinny while I’m gone. Yet I still did the chores. Deep down inside, I knew why. It derived from my guilty feeling for not doing proper housekeeping and cooking for months. So there I was, juggling between packing, cleaning and cooking. Somehow, I enjoyed this kind of juggling better.

Now come excuse number three: my long journey from home. After Mr. Husband bid me safe trip at Vancouver International Airport, I started my trip back to Indonesia to see my parents. My long holiday in Indonesia was quite hectic. There is always reason to go here and there, to visit this and that, to see friends and relatives, to do health check-ups. These happened almost everyday, juggling between the famous crazy traffic jams of Jakarta. Luckily, I managed to experience Japan and Malaysia too. In August, Mr. Husband flew to Indonesia with his parents. We celebrated my inlaws’ golden anniversary in Indonesia. They also met some members of my very big family and good old friends. We visited many places around Jakarta, Bandung, Garut and Yogyakarta. Interestingly, I visited and saw many things for first time as well on those cities. I think I got more than 3500 pictures to choose and share later on from this very long journey. Plenty home works, for sure.

We all came back to Canada in September. Tired yet contented. My calendar in my bathroom was still showing March as its month. Wow,  this means I was away for about five months. The longest and interesting holiday I ever had, thanks to Mr. Husband’s consent.

Here comes what I call the five months holiday side effects. In between trying to overcome my jet lag and regained my domestic diva life back, I had to redo my spring cleaning. Reorganized many stuff around the house. Unpacked my suitcases and boxes. Reacquainted with my home office works (five months away from so called “work” surely affected your brain a lot). Readjusted my self with Canadian weather. I left home when snow was still covered the ground and I came back when it was time to seize the cold days again. Some people commented that I chose a wrong time for holiday. Should have gone all winter time instead, they said. Apparently overcoming those side effects took me more than a month.

But still I would say: life is great, indeed.

Thank you for mind the gap.

mind the gap

I will catch up with my postings.

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