Tag Archives: friends

My Constant Friends

 

For the last decade, I could say, I am pretty much a homebody. Perhaps that helps to explain why I don’t have many friends like I used to since I have been living in this small town. I don’t really socializing  anymore like I used to when I was in my hometown, Jakarta. The people that I called real friends here are only few, probably less than ten. The rest, I’d rather call them as acquaintances. Interestingly enough, I have found more nice friends virtually than in a reality. They even have become good friends. Clearly this shown that, indeed, time has changed a lot in our way of making friends.

Anyhow, as time goes by, I finally found my other special  friends. They come with no drama that could break my heart. They come in a form of flowers. Most of all, they come out from my own garden. Although they only here for a short season (thanks to our very long winter), I know good and well that in them, I find solace. That’s why, I totally agreed on what Kakuzo Okakura said about flowers.

In joy or sadness, flowers are our constant friends.
Kakuzo Okakura

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The Missing Feeling

Today, I miss my best friend a lot.

I miss how we could talk for hours, how we laugh over simple things. I miss his big hugs every time we met. I miss his great cooking. I miss the way he said that I’m a brave girl and called me his little sister. I miss listen to his interesting life story, how he spent his life in Indonesia between the 1950’s and 1970’s, how he loved Indonesia. I miss seeing his true love for his wonderful wife.

He had promised me he would be here when I came back home. He wished me a happy visit with my parents in Indonesia. One time I talked to him over Skype, he looked cheerful and healthy. He asked me if I could buy an Indonesian map on batik cloth for him. I did buy and sent it for him. But then a sad news came: he’s gone. Cancer took him away from us last May.

When I came back to Canada, I knew my life in this little town would no longer be the same. My best friend has gone. I lost my best friend that I often I saw as my second father. It was definitely a big lost for me. I know how hard it was for his wife. They had been together for more than 50 years. I could imagine that her loss must be like losing half of her soul.

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Last week, I visited his house as it was my turn to take care the place while his wife is away for  a long holiday. I was in his kitchen, his favourite place. His domain. A place where he cooked great food for me, pampered me with Indonesian dishes that sometimes I hardly know. Although cooking Indonesian dishes is time consuming, he made sure he did it right from the scratch. It was a no way for him to use instant ingredients. My husband and I always commented, that’s so him being perfectionist and a German.

I was in his home office. His new iMac looked cold, untouched. I remember how we spent a lot of time there as he wanted me to teach him how to use it. Sometimes he got frustrated because his memory was not a sharp as before the cancer treatments. I told him it was okay, I even tend to forget things also and my age is only half of his.

The house was so quiet yet not cold. The house still has a soul, a warm welcome one. Somehow I could feel his presence there. It was still like the house I used to visit, so warm and open. Just like when he was still around. His loving memories linger there. The only different is no his big hug to welcome me. Now I can only see his picture hanging on the wall. Hence, I sensed he is still near by.

We never bid a good bye.

Now I know why. Apparently we never far apart. He stays close to my heart, for always.

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