(1940 – 2015)
Thank you for all your wise reminders, Mr. Dyer.
You will never be forgotten.
Requiescant In Pace.
You have heard of the cup that overflowed. This is a story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger, it is an invisible bucket. Everyone has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people. Have you ever experienced a series of very favorable things which made you want to be good to people for a week? At that time, your bucket was full.
A bucket can be filled by a lot of things that happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your bucket is filled a little. Even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher. There must be a million ways to raise the level in another’s bucket. Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listing to him.
When one’s bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and a dipper. Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your bucket. This, too, can be done in a million ways.
Lets say I am at a dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the table cloth, on a lady’s skirt, down onto the carpet. I am embarrassed. “Bright Eyes” across the table says, “You upset that glass of chocolate milk.” I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me about it! He got his dipper in my bucket! Think of the times a person makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him about the known mistake (“Red pencil” mentality!)
Buckets are filled and buckets are emptied ? emptied many times because people don’t really think about what are doing. When a person’s bucket is emptied, he is very different than when it is full. You say to a person whose bucket is empty, “That is a pretty tie you have,” and he may reply in a very irritated, defensive manner.
Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are people who seem to have holes in their buckets. When a person has a hole in his bucket, he irritates lots of people by trying to get his dipper in their buckets. This is when he really needs somebody to pour it in his bucket because he keeps losing.
The story of our lives is the interplay of the bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the bucket and the dipper is that when you fill another’s bucket it does not take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another’s, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another’s bucket we do not fill our own … we lose a little.
For a variety of reasons, people hesitate filling the bucket of another and consequently do not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this hesitancy are that people think it sounds “fakey,” or the other person will be suspicious of the motive, or it is “brown-nosing.”
Therefore, let us put aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone’s life in order to fill their bucket.
Re-shared from AsAManThinketh.net
A couple weeks ago a friend of mine challenged me to participate in a 5 day Black and White photo challenge. Hhmm… ay or nay? Should I? Shouldn’t I? I didn’t reply straight away. I took a bit of time to think about it as it is about commitment. At least to myself. The challenge itself is informal, just for fun between friends who love taking pictures.
I had thought a lot about it before I said “yes” to myself then my friend. First, as much as I love photography, I haven’t taken deeper dip into this genre. Secondly, I haven’t been really in the mood of roaming around with my camera lately. However, since I believe on learning something different everyday, finally with a long deep breath I replied to my friend, “Thank you. It’s an honour.”.
So here are those five shots I took within five days.
Just like I always firmly believe, taking up challenge it’s more about learning than boasting yourself. In the course of five days, I managed myself to be diligent in taking one brand new shot a day in black and white. Not just desaturated old pictures into black and white. I seized the day, was constantly thinking what kind of object I should take today. I decided to just simply taking some new shoots that I could find around me. I got solid reason to go out although the weather was not up to my preference.
On the third day, I learned to enjoy taking black and white photo, not just admiring like I have always been. I learned more about black and white photography. Then the best outcome of this challenge for me was I could beat my own lazy mood in taking pictures. No more not-in-the-mood mode occupying my head. Yes, I didn’t carry my big camera around. But thanks to that handy camera phone and little tweaking with one photography app, I was a happy shooter. They surely worked like a charm.
Now my dear readers, what have you challenged yourself lately?
Before I graduated from the university, my idea of being success was seem so common. My list of successful life had a look like this: get a (at least) master degree, get a prestigous job, have an awesome career, collect recognitions, start a family, successfully juggling between my dual-role as career woman and wife/mother, build a decent dream house to live in, go travel the world, have the “happy looking” portfolios in the bank account(s), be able to retire young thanks to the smart investments you have done before.
Indeed a successful life according to a 20’s something girl was that idealistic. Achievable yes but is it a true successful life about?
When I entered the school of life, slowly but sure, the meaning of successful life started to sound differently. It has become deeper and given different meaning for my well-being. As I learned more, I understood more. I realized more what is the actual essence of successful life. Well, at least, for myself.
Added to my comprehension about the meaning of successful life, one day I came across to what Zig Ziglar said about success. I copied the excerpted from his book: Born to Win! Find Your Success Code that I think it’s really worth to ponder in the amidst of hedonism or materialistic world we live in today.
A Definition of Success by Zig Ziglar
Here’s a short list of the characteristics of what I believe success isn’t and what I believe success is. Let’s start with what success is.
What Success Is:
1. Success is knowing that you did a great job when you close the door to your office at the end of each workday and head for home.
2. Success is having a home and people to love who love you in return.
3. Success is having the financial security to meet your obligations each month and the knowledge that you have provided that security for your family in the event of your demise.
4. Success is having the kind of faith that lets you know where to turn when there seems to be no place to turn.
5. Success is having an interest or hobby that gives you joy and peace.
6. Success is knowing who you are, and Whose you are.
7. Success is taking good care of you and waking up healthy each day.
8. Success is slipping under the covers at the end of the day and realizing with gratitude that, “It just doesn’t get much better than this!”
You see from this list that success is more than a one-sentence definition. Success involves the whole person, and if you skimp on one area, you will limit your success in others. Now, let’s take a look at what success isn’t.
What Success Isn’t:
1. Success isn’t missing dinner with the family several times a week because of working excessively.
2. Success isn’t rushing home from work and hiding out with the TV thinking, “After the day I’ve had, I need my space!”
3. Success isn’t about how to make more money when you already have more money than you can spend.
4. Success isn’t about going to church and ignoring everything you hear.
5. Success isn’t all work and no play.
6. Success isn’t about being so busy that you live on unhealthy fast food, served to you through little windows.
7. Success isn’t spending mental energy worrying about late projects, being home on time, your health, missing your child’s school play, being able to pay your bills, or finding joy in your life.
8. Success isn’t texting while you drive to catch up on your overloaded schedule.
What is the meaning of successful life itself for you?
Everyday, God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.
– Paulo Coelho